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An issue with gendered language 
16th-Dec-2011 09:44 am
Commute, Traffic, Frustrated
I freely admit to the possibility of being hypersensitive here, but I sat down at the computer this morning and came across this post and tried to formulate a nice, helpful answer, but I'm reeling from the whole, "what am I, a man," comment in the original post.

Between feeling like it's an insult flung directly at people with PCOS and the discomfort it makes me feel about gendered insults (as if there's something wrong with being a man,) I'm a little disturbed.

I'm just going to let the post be, since I know that I won't be able to answer the OP's query in a kind and thoughtful manner without a little rage today.
16th-Dec-2011 03:10 pm (UTC)
Thank you for feeling able to share your concerns here, and for recognising when you're not in a good place to engage (though I'm sorry you're in that place, obviously!). I'll bring this up for discussion with the rest of the maintainers.

for the VP team
16th-Dec-2011 03:14 pm (UTC)
I understand how that statement might bother some people, but to me it reads as a ciswoman feeling her femininity was at stake with her diagnosis. She did try to clarify that she didn't have a problem with men in general, but that it was not part of her identity. We frequently have transmen post about the reverse situation. I think we should allow people a little space when they are referring only to their own gender identity...it's not like she said men were gross or that she used a disparaging term for them.
16th-Dec-2011 03:16 pm (UTC)
I'm not very happy with my wording "it's not like." I don't mean to diminish your concerns by citing possible worse scenarios. I was trying to point out scenarios that would be problematict me.
16th-Dec-2011 09:49 pm (UTC)
This is what I think too.
16th-Dec-2011 03:43 pm (UTC)
To me, it read that she was very confused, and the way it was explained to her made her question her own gender. And that she doesn't want to be a man. I could see where it could be read as insulting, but I honestly think it was a very impassioned statement of "What is going on?!?"
16th-Dec-2011 08:12 pm (UTC)
Another issue in that post, imo, is the comment from iamthegadfly, about modern doctors and assuming they would only be interested in androgenic hair growth on a gal, ignoring all else.

From the OP's description of what went on, I didn't get the impression at all that the doctor only cared about the hair growth on the OP's body. Rather, the hair growth was just a clue as to what might be going on with the OP's hormones. I feel like the comment from iamthegadfly was a really unfair interpretation of what really happened.

I feel like every where I look on VP lately, there are disparaging comments toward the medical profession, saying how stupid doctors are, how they don't know anything, and how their priorities are skewed from the patients' best interests. I think that kind of attitude can be dangerous, especially when we are essentially giving free medical advice over the internet. It promotes a lack of trust between patients and their providers, and that just does no body any good.

(And of course, that's not to say that every poster who had issues with their health care provider is wrong-- the vast majority of what people post here after they have issues with their provider is absolutely appropriate. I'm just getting very weary of every day seeing stuff about how all doctors are morons and can't be trusted. IDK, I'm tired, and that comment really pissed me off.)

Edited at 2011-12-16 08:13 pm (UTC)
17th-Dec-2011 01:39 am (UTC)
Not in specific regard to this post, but just from my general experience. I think in part this is just...the internet - You're always more likely to see negative things than positive. It does give a skewed perspective on the medical profession, and I agree, that can be a really dangerous thing.

Personally, I've spent the past year trying to find a decent doctor, so I empathize with the "ugh, medical professionals" thing :( But, I know that not -all- doctors and nurses are bad, I've just had a string of really terrible luck. I think it's really easy to get discouraged though, and I think that may be part of what you're seeing - so many have gone to doctor after doctor and been dismissed or ignored or put down, or in my case, laughed at, and they just give up hope. At least here no one laughs at you, or tells you you're stupid.

Not to say that you aren't right to be concerned about the attitude, just my musings. :)
17th-Dec-2011 01:58 am (UTC)
Those damn modern doctors. I much preferred when they would just bleed out the imbalanced humors.
17th-Dec-2011 05:28 am (UTC)
I was just watching Rome on HBO, and they trepanned someone. And I said to myself "my god I'm glad we're past that..."
17th-Dec-2011 12:11 am (UTC)
She posted about the same issue in fuck_shaving but with different language: "How much of a mustache of happy trail do you all have? I have to admit, the way she said it made me feel less than a woman. And I am one. And I like it. Bah. I need some encouragement, folks." I think this sheds more light on where she's coming from and how she felt put down by her doc.
17th-Dec-2011 04:42 pm (UTC)
Hi again. Just wanted to let you know that we've now left a comment addressing the line you mention. Please let us know if you have any outstanding concerns.

for the VP team
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