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Comment thread on pelvic pain getting iffy 
27th-Jan-2015 01:20 pm
MeowMeowKittyCat
http://vaginapagina.livejournal.com/22204472.html?thread=254904376#t254904376

In the original comment, the commenter mentioned that if their MD says all is okay, that OP should be good. They also said, "Good luck! I'm jealous... wish I was having a good time to have a problem with! You go girl!"

I have experience with pelvic pain, including vaginal, and I wanted OP to know that MDs aren't always right, just because they're not trained in pelvic disorders and sexual pain. I also felt really dismissed by their comment on "having a good time to have a problem with." I let the commenter know that pelvic pain, including sexual pain, isn't ever a good time.

They responded defensively, saying their comment was for OP and that OPs pain is from having a new partner and trying new things. I don't really know if ya'll want to intervene yet, but I find it incredibly offensive that they think sexual pain is a good time just because someone has a new partner and is trying new things. It is absolutely not. It can be incredibly devastating, and it's really not okay they dismissed it in the first place and then dismissed it again when they were called out on it.

EDIT: more descriptive title.
Comments 
27th-Jan-2015 09:08 pm (UTC)
Frankly I think you are right, if someone doesnt understand that pelvic pain can and does envelop the entire vagina and vulva then perhaps they should have simply apologized for not knowing. They came across a bit rude and defensive to me as well.

And I further agree, pain is never something to be jealous of, its like someone saying theyre jealous I take morphine daily for an accident 15 years ago which injured my neck and thus gave me a chronic pain condition but also put me on disability and removed my ability to do many things for myself without excruciating pain. This is nothing anyone should be jealous of and I doubt your pelvic pain is either!

I was offended reading the way the commenter responded to you, and their original comments little PS just made me feel uncomfortable as heck.

Edited to remove gendered pronouns as I dont know the gender of the person I am referring to.

Edited at 2015-01-27 09:11 pm (UTC)
28th-Jan-2015 12:49 am (UTC)
I didn't need them to apologize (edit: about not knowing vaginal pain is pelvic pain) -- it was just something I addressed so that OP wouldn't become confused. I can see how the commenter could make that mistake.

Really the big issue for me is how defensive and rude they were about routine pelvic pain being a "fun" thing. I'm sure they wished OP the best, but holy cow -- "intent is not magic," to use an oft-repeated phrase.

EDIT: also, thanks for commenting. I was a bit worried I'd be considered over-sensitive, so I'm glad I'm not the only one who found this comment offensive. I hope you find some solutions for your neck pain!



Edited at 2015-01-28 12:51 am (UTC)
28th-Jan-2015 04:06 am (UTC)
Thanks for the heads up. We're discussing this now. :)

Tori
For the VP Team
20th-Feb-2015 12:36 am (UTC)
Did you guys ever get around to this... ?
21st-Feb-2015 10:41 pm (UTC)
It's been almost a month, so I doubt they will; it likely just slipped past them. I don't think getting around to it this late in the game will make much of a difference. Hopefully the commenter doesn't repeat the mistake.

EDIT: Internet went down so I couldn't finish. Ugh. Continuing:
I used to be an SSM, so I know that they have to work by consensus. So maybe they didn't get that about this, or no one was able to take care of it and it became old enough that it was no longer a priority, especially if other things came to their attention.

It was an incredibly offensive comment, especially since they got so defensive when called out on it, but that was to me and some other VPers -- maybe the SSMs don't see it that way, or maybe something came up in their personal lives and no one was able to get to it. I think they have a lot of work for the number of people they have.

Edited at 2015-02-21 11:06 pm (UTC)
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